A Cauldron of Emotions

As most of you were aware my wife Heather and myself were off to the CrossFit Central Canadian Sectionals this weekend. This weekend represented a lot of things for a lot of people. All with their own reasons, their own goals, and seeking to have their own accomplishments. Some sought greatness, some looked for friendship and competition, while others sought experience and a chance for growth.
Heather did an amazing job finishing 2nd overall. Stop and think for a moment about what that accomplishment represents and you will realize how truly amazing it really is. Out of 48 of the CrossFitters all looking for top honours and a spot in the National meet, Heather finished #2. On top of that, she won a special award that is almost even more prestigious than her placing. She won the F2 award being recognized as the female athlete that moved the most technically and efficiently of all female competitors at the show. Every lifter strives for a balance between perfection and intensity. On this weekend she epitomized both!
One of my best friends Kris Fraser who lives between Ft. Mcmurray and Lethbridge and trains at CFLA whenever he gets a chance embodied the spirit of morality, ethics and camaraderie. Another friend and athlete of CFLA and LCI graduate Carlee Degenhardt also competed on the weekend showing that in Lethbridge we mean business and train hard. Carlee is young and full of promise. Although I a not old enough to be her dad I beamed like a proud papa at the end of her contest at the efforts she had put forth.
As for me.....well.....that is where the bubbling cauldron of emotions begins. The weekend for me was as bitter sweet as it could get. Due to the lateral meniscus tear that I suffered 1 1/2 months ago I was forced to withdraw from the competition. My knee had swollen to the point where lockout was difficult and I couldn't walk without a limp. Many of you could look at this and feel like it shouldn't be that big of a deal, there is always next year, you have an injury that needs looking after. I do realize this, but it does nothing to soothe or calm the emotions I feel. On one hand I couldn't be happier with our team, my friends, the support network that exists at CFLA, and extends to Conquest. To share in their success and be a part of the realization of dreams is truly inspiring and I would never want to change the minor part I played in it. On the flip side, I wanted to live my own dream and vicariously through theirs. I have been on a 6 year road to recovery with the goal of returning to active competition again. Competition that takes me to a larger stage than local, that pits my ability against the best we can find. Just as I can see the finish line in sight, I have fallen and for a year I can't get back up. I will have surgery and begin rehab, training and plans anew, but the goal still existed for this year and not next. A goal that I was unable to reach and unable to accomplish. In preparation for this event people lent a ton of support Heather and my way and for that I am humble, thankful and grateful. Everyone from my wife, my son and friends all sacrificed things so that I could pursue my dreams again. I can't help but feel like I let people down. In my entire career of lifting I have never not entered a contest that I registered for. I have always approached everything as my body is not in control, but I am. I make it do, what it does not want to do. I tell it when to stop and not the other way around. This time it told me... the difference is that I listened. Some call it admirable others smart....I can't help but recognize that, but also feel like I still could have made a go. Not 100% but it still could have......that point is neither here nor there. The draw to competition is strong in me and it is what helps me feel validated, successful and what I enjoy above all. To be close enough to touch it, but too far away to be able to do it was almost unbearable.
On the positive side of things I learned many things about my self, faced off with reality and hopefully will come out the other side a better person as a result. I cannot change my past but must focus on the future. I will play again, but for now I need to deal with the emotions I am feeling and summon the strength to continue to support my team, my wife and be their for my family. CFLA will still be represented by a Gillespie on the National stage and after all of the years Heather has been my support system I need to do everything in my power to help her chase her dreams and achieve her goals until I am able to do so for myself again. Thanks for listening I just needed to talk.
ALL HAIL CONQUEST! ALL HAIL BIG BROTHER AT CFLA!

WOD
3 minutes AMRAP DB Overhead Press - Guys @ 20-25 Gals @ 10-15
rest 2 minutes
3 Minutes AMRAP Back Squat - Guys @ 55 Gals @ 45
Rest 2 minutes
3 Minutes AMRAP Fist Twists

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